


Bad Day at Brookhaven

by merryghoul



Series: Vacationthon (2011-12) [1]
Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: Baseball, Beaches, Community: vacationthon, Dehydration, Diners, Drunkenness, Fic Exchange, Gen, Gift Fic, Internal Conflict, Kissing, New York, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-21 14:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/226169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merryghoul/pseuds/merryghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are twists and turns in Blair's trip to East Hampton, New York.  Not of all of them are physical ones.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Day at Brookhaven

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flipflop_diva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/gifts).



> This fic was for the first year of the now defunct Vacationthon exchange.
> 
> Originally posted 11 July 2011. Reuploaded 2 July 2016, to fix spacing issues and some SPAG and story errors and to change the summary, because why the hell not. 
> 
> Although the story is set between seasons two and three, events mentioned in seasons three and four that take place during this time frame are briefly mentioned here. 
> 
> And the title, very much like Gossip Girl episode titles, is a play on _Bad Day at Black Rock._

Blair and Chuck were stepping out of the private jet he had chartered from Heathrow to JFK. Days ago the two were in Amsterdam, where a drunken Blair sang "Stand by Your Man" in front of Chuck, Robyn and a few other people in a karaoke bar. She grabbed his hand and walked briskly onto the tarmac. "Are you sure no one will see that tape but Robyn?"

"She promised she wouldn't show it to anyone," Chuck said. "I even gave her a thousand dollars to make sure the video wouldn't be talked about in Page Six or Gossip Girl. Besides...my new summer home has finally been renovated. Why not celebrate it with a private party?" He smirked.

Chuck's limousine, chartered by his usual chauffeur, Arthur, was close by the plane. The left door to the back of the limo was already opened. As soon as Chuck was about to step into the limo, a voice called out: "Blair! Blair!" It was Serena.

Serena ran up to the limo carrying a large tote, hanging on to a large floppy hat. Her purple sundress fluttered in the wind. There were baggage stickers reading FRA, ATH, and JTR on the handle of the tote. Serena was running so fast she failed to hear her cell phone fall to the tarmac and snap in two. "Are you heading into the city?" she asked when she was in front of Blair.

"No, Serena. We're going to Chuck's house in East Hampton for a few days."

"Can I come?"

"No," Chuck hissed from inside the limo.

"Sure!"

Chuck groaned as Blair and Serena stepped inside his limo.

"It's not like Serena's going to have a threesome with us."

Chuck stared at Blair.

 

Serena and Blair caught up on each other's escapades en route to East Hampton . Chuck and Blair went city-hopping all over Europe, playing what they called their love game. Chuck would seduce a hapless victim, because, well, he was Chuck Bass; Blair would come in as the scorned woman and scare the victim; once the victim fled the scene, Chuck and Blair would have wild sex in their hotel rooms. The two had so much sex they didn't bother to see any cultural landmarks: the Sagrada Família, the Louvre, the Anne Frank House. Serena spent some time in Santorini, sunning herself at the Katikies Hotel. Chuck ignored them both and read the _New York Observer_ Arthur put in the limo for Chuck's longer limo trips.

An hour after Arthur, Blair, Serena, and Chuck left JFK, their limo drove through the town of Brookhaven, about 45 minutes away from their final destination of East Hampton. Somewhere on New York State Route 27 a car in front of Chuck's limo threw out a glass cream soda bottle. Arthur didn't see the glass bottle when it was thrown out on the highway. His front right tire shattered the glass and popped both tires on the right side of the limo. When Arthur ran over the bottle, the girls screamed and Chuck crumbled up his _Observer._ Arthur was forced to pull over to the side of the road.

Everyone got out of the limo from the left side after it was parked. The tires had quickly deflated to the point the right side of the limo was visibly lower than the left side.

"I never expected any car chartered by Chuck to go down faster than the Titanic," Blair said, watching the limo's right tires sink even further.

Chuck sighed. He checked his watch. "Well, at this rate we'll get to East Hampton by two. At least we have food and scotch in the limo if we need them. Arthur, call and see if you can get a replacement limo here by noon. I still want to christen the summer house with Blair." He winked at Blair. She blushed.

Arthur pulled out his cell phone and called the limo company he worked for in the city. After a few moments he put the phone back into his pocket. "Mister Bass? I can't pick up a signal out here."

"Arthur, you can have my cell phone. Maybe I have a carrier that has a signal." Serena put her tote on the ground. She looked through her things in her bag. "That's funny," she said to herself. "I had my phone when I came back from Frankfurt."

"Miss? Have you found your cell phone yet?"

"Not yet, Arthur. And my name's Serena, by the way. I'm flattered, but you don't have to call me 'miss.'"

Serena looked through her bag again. She shuffled everything around in the main compartment and checked the inside and outside compartments of the bag.

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I must have lost my phone at the airport."

"It's okay, Serena."

Blair pulled out her cell phone and attempted to cut it on but the screen remained black. "I'm sorry, Arthur, but my cell phone's not working either."

"And I burned out my cell phone battery in London trying to get a private plane. I had to get one without an in-flight charger. There's no use for me to get back in the limo and try to charge the battery now." Chuck opened the _Observer_ he managed to save from the limo. "Arthur?"

Arthur nodded at Chuck.

"I need you to hitchhike to the nearest exit and see if you can call the limo company as soon as possible."

Arthur started walking east, past the front of the limousine, before Serena called his name. "There's a bridge a few miles back. If we go west maybe we can find something so Arthur doesn't have to hitchhike."

"There's not a landmark on this road for a while, Serena. The best thing to do in this case is to hitchhike."

"How do you know, Chuck? You were reading the paper when the limo had a flat!"

"I've been going to East Hampton ever since I was a boy. There aren't any landmarks until you get to the four-leaf clover intersection in Shirley. I wouldn't be caught dead in that Roy Rogers there."

"Did you ever look out the window, Chuck, or were you too hung over on scotch to even realize there are places other than trees on Highway 27?"

Chuck’s eyes widened. "Go away, Serena," he yelled.

Serena started walking with her bag west of where the limo was stationed. Arthur followed her.

"Arthur. Arthur! You're fired!" Chuck yelled as the two walked off in the distance.

"I think you were pretty hard on Arthur. He didn't deserve to be yelled at like that."

"Blair." He licked his lips. "Arthur is my employee. He works for me. I tell him what he should do for me and if he doesn't obey them, he is fired. He disobeyed me. He's fired."

"But maybe you've never seen that bridge Serena was talking about. Maybe it was there all along."

“Just because there is a bridge, Blair, does not mean there are people nearby for miles." He said the words slow and forcefully. "It will take forever for Serena and Arthur to find any sign of human life."

"Maybe Serena was right. Maybe you were too hung over on scotch to even know where the hell you were going." Blair grabbed the skirt of her white dress and ran in her white high-heeled sandals. "Arthur? Serena? Wait for me!"

 

Chuck crawled back in the sunken limousine. He drank half of a bottle of scotch while he attempted to read his _Observer._ He opened the right side door. Chuck and his _Observer_ tumbled onto the grass. He staggered into the woods near the car. 

For ten minutes he staggered around in the woods. He was tripping on tree roots, sliding around on dead leaves and getting progressively dirtier. He scuffed his shoes and ripped his pants and shirt on a couple of trees as he was stumbling around. Finally he passed out face first on a baseball diamond. A Little League baseball game was in progress as he passed out. One of the spectators saw Chuck fall to the ground; she screamed. The game stopped as most everyone involved in the game ran to Chuck's side. 

 

Serena, Blair, and Arthur had made it to a diner not far from Highway 27. Arthur had called the limousine company; they promised to drop off a replacement limousine at the diner. Serena called Dan, who was in East Hampton vacationing with Jenny, Eric, Rufus, Lily, and Cece to pick Blair and herself up from the diner. The three were sitting at a booth staring at coffee, eggs, toast and bacon that was barely touched.

Blair was finishing up her story about Chuck, Robyn, and herself. "And that's how we met Robyn in Amsterdam."

"Aren't you leaving out something, Blair?"

"No, no! We went to a karaoke bar and had a few drinks. Robyn performed 'With Every Heartbeat.' That's it."

"Ladies, if I knew this meal wasn't good, we could've stayed in the parking lot until Dan came," Arthur said.

"It's okay, Arthur. This is what happens when you lose your cell phone at JFK."

Blair looked at her meal. Her eyes looked like they were filling up with tears.

“Hey, can you excuse me for a second? I've got to take care of some female issues in the bathroom." Serena nudged Blair and left.

"I have to go to the bathroom too, Arthur." Blair followed her.

 

Serena locked the door of the small restroom. "Is everything alright, Blair?"

"Everything's fine, Serena. I was thinking about how much I missed Handsome Dan." She sniffed.

"I know that voice, Blair. You use it whenever you're hiding something."

"I'm not hiding anything."

“Blair....”

"Okay, okay. It's about Chuck. We were having so much fun on our trip around Europe Then we arrived in Amsterdam. Since then we've been arguing nonstop. But today's my breaking point. I've tried forgetting about him yelling at me, but I can't. I keep replaying in my head."

Blair cried on Serena's shoulder. Serena hugged her. There was a moment where Blair and Serena looked at each other. Serena leaned in and kissed Blair. Blair returned the kiss before pushing Serena off of her.

"Wait. Serena, what did we just do?"

"I cheered you up, B."

"Serena, you know I'm dating Chuck now."

"But you’re angry at him for yelling at you."

"My best friend should know better than to use a kiss to improve my mood." Blair unlocked the bathroom door and left the restaurant and her untouched diner meal.

 

Chuck was coming to on the baseball field he had collapsed on. The first thing he saw was the face of a man wearing a baseball cap. "Sir?" the man said to Chuck. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Do you remember falling to the ground?"

"Yes."

The man with the baseball cap gave Chuck a cup of orange Gatorade. Chuck begrudgingly took sips of it. "So what happened to you?"

"My limousine is stuck by the side of Highway 27. I stumbled out of my limousine and got lost."

"Is anyone coming to get you?"

"My cell phone's dead."

A woman gave Chuck her cell phone. Chuck called Arthur a few times. Each time Chuck was greeted with "We're sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is not available at this time. Please leave a message after the beep." Chuck would hang up after the beep and try again until he gave up.

"I can't reach my chauffeur. I don't know where he is."

"You're free to watch the rest of this Little League game until you can get in touch with your chauffeur,” the man in the baseball cap said. “I'm sure you can call back at a later time, Mr...."

"I'm Chuck. Chuck Bass." 

 

When Dan pulled up in the parking lot of the diner Blair was standing by the road. She rushed over to Dan's Beetle and hopped in the front seat.

"And how are you this afternoon, Blair," Dan asked as Blair quickly slammed the door.

"I may have done something I may regret. Just drive, Humphrey. I'll put my seat belt on before we get on Highway 27."

"But I'm here to pick up Serena too."

"Serena can call a taxi. Just drive!"

Serena hugged Arthur and ran out the diner to the Beetle. She crawled into the backseat of the car and patted Blair's shoulder. "Didn't we have fun in the bath--"

"No, we did not. Just drive, Humphrey."

 

Dan pulled over by the side of the road where Chuck's limo was abandoned. The three got out of the Beetle and walked around the limousine. They peered through the tinted glass and checked under the limousine. Finally Serena opened the left back door of the limousine and peered in. “Chuck’s gone, Blair.”

Blair pointed to the woods. "Chuck's paper!" The _Observer_ had blown against a tree.

"I don't understand. Why would Chuck be in a forest?" Serena asked.

Dan shrugged. "That may be true, but it's worth a shot to walk in and find him."

The three walked into the forest, the girls holding their dresses as they stepped on the brush. Unlike Chuck, it only took the threesome two minutes to walk through the forest and onto the diamond the Little League team was playing their game on.

Near some bleachers at the diamond were a large beach umbrella and a beach chair. Chuck was sitting in the chair, surrounded by a few empty Gatorade-branded cups. His clothes were taken off his body except for his pants and boxer briefs. The clothes taken off his body were beside the beach chair. Someone placed their Wayfarers on Chuck's face.

"Chuck!" Blair ran to the bleachers. Serena and Dan followed her.

Once the threesome was by his side Blair took off the Wayfarers. Chuck looked up at Dan, Serena and Blair, his eyes wide. "Congratulations. You're looking at the Belport Blue Jays' latest fan."

"Is it okay if we picked up our friend and took him back to my car?" Dan was talking to no one in particular. "Okay."

Dan and Serena picked up Chuck and headed back to the woods. Blair gathered all of Chuck's clothes and followed them.

"You're not my friend, Humphrey."

"But legally we are brothers, so I guess we're still stuck with each other. And you know you smell like booze, right?"

Chuck groaned. 

 

Chuck was tucked in his bed watching _Mad Men_ when the phone in his bedroom rang. Chuck put it on speakerphone.

_"Mister Bass?"_

"Arthur." Chuck was still weak from his dehydration.

_"I'm on my way to your East Hampton residence. I told the limousine company you had fired me. They told me to leave the limousine there. Tomorrow someone's going to pick me up from a hotel and drive me back to Manhattan."_

"No, Arthur, Serena was right. If you kept going in the direction I originally sent you would've been walking for minutes, maybe hours. You would've ended up like me."

_"What happened?"_

Chuck told Arthur about how he ended up on the baseball diamond and how Serena, Blair and Dan rescued him. "I apologize," Chuck continued. "You've driven me around New York and the Hamptons ever since I was 14. You've always been loyal to me as well as my father. My anger towards you walking off with Serena and Blair to save all of our lives was a shameful move on my part. Arthur, you're rehired. I'm going to need someone to drive me around East Hampton until I recover. And I'll need someone to drive me around after that, since I don't want to drive in a pedestrian rental car from Enterprise."

"I will report for duty as soon as I arrive in East Hampton, Mister Bass."

"Good." Chuck hung up and returned to Betty Draper floating around in a drug-induced fantasy land.

 

Dan was about to leave Chuck's house when Blair called for him. "Humphrey, wait! You have to promise that what I'm about to tell you stays with you. Not Serena, not Chuck, not Gossip Girl."

"Okay, Blair." He looked perplexed.

Blair told Dan about her argument with Chuck as well as her kiss with Serena in the diner.

"Wow. I never knew you were even attracted to girls, Blair."

"Shut up, Humphrey."

"Maybe you need some time apart from both of them, like a day or so. Just to clear your head and sort out your feelings for them."

"Where will I go? It's not like East Hampton is a huge town."

"There's more than beaches and restaurants here, Blair. I'm sure you'll find something. I have to go. Serena's in the Beetle. And CeCe expects me to help with dinner tonight. I don't think she'll like Serena showing up unexpectedly." Dan left Chuck's house. Blair stood in the foyer, alone.

 

The next day Chuck's room was decorated with peonies and red roses. Rose petals were scattered all over his bed, save for the spot he was still occupying because of his dehydration. A box of chocolates and two glasses--one filled with champagne, the other filled with lemon-lime Gatorade--were on a tray. Roman Holiday was playing on Chuck's television.

Chuck called Blair's cell phone four times. Each time he was greeted with the same message to leave a message in Blair's voicemail. "Blair," he whispered into the phone after the fourth time, "come home. I have a surprise for you. C."

He took a sip of the Gatorade and rolled his eyes at the television.

 

Serena was at the Main Beach of East Hampton. She was sitting on a beach towel. Her bag from Santorini was still by her side. She picked up her pay-as-you-go phone she picked up from a local store and tried to call Blair's cell phone. She kept trying for ten minutes before giving up and leaving a message on her voice mail: "Hey, B, I'm on the beach until late afternoon."

Serena lay on the beach towel. She put her sunglasses on her face and listened to the waves crash against the beach.

 

Blair was at a local art gallery, admiring a painting made by a local artist. "Miss," the owner of the gallery said as he walked beside her, "would you like some information about this painting?"

Blair briefly freaked out. "Oh, you startled me. I would love more information about this painting. Being in this gallery is the best thing that's happened to be since I've been back in New York."

The gallery owner told Blair about the painting. She examined the painting again and smiled.


End file.
